Thursday, October 24, 2013

"One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman" - Simone de Beauvoir

I haven't written a personal update for a while, so I thought that, for those of you reading and for my own personal enjoyment, I should write something of importance. Well, this may only hold significance for myself, but writing is one of my favorite pastimes, so here we go.

These will just be random bits of information I failed to mention here.

Flowers from an admirer:
I must have made quite the impression (unintentionally!) on the company flower man who comes to water the flowers every week, because one morning when I was filing paperwork, he came up to me holding a beautiful violet orchid, he held it out to me, and asked, "Would you like to keep it?". Ever since, he comes to my desk every week to check up on my orchid (which I named "Gilda"), and has brought me a replacement orchid every time I need one. I feel slightly bashful that he gives me so much attention, but what a beautiful feeling it is so receive flowers from an admirer. Beauty is both a curse and a blessing, incredibly unfair, as well as fleeting. I might as well enjoy these small things while they last, even though I usually feel undeserving of such attention.

The guy at Starbucks
I usually go down to the Starbucks in my building where I work to get a morning cup of coffee, and the people there are getting to know me. One young man, with beautiful latte colored skin and swirls of dark chocolate hair, when writing my name on that little paper cup, looked up and locked eyes with me and asked, "Does the name "Bettie Page" mean anything to you?" bright coffee colored eyes crinkled into a smile, and I answered, "Why yes, I adore Bettie!". He told me that I remind him of her. Even though I don't don the signature "Bettie" bang, I really took his compliment to heart. I don't try to imitate anyone, I just try to be myself, but if I by chance am channeling someone as great as Bettie, I'll take it!  

On becoming a woman
For the past few months, I have been on a diet. I eat as much as I can, and then a little more. After a bout with...I can't call it anorexia exactly, I guess it was stress induced weight loss...I severely abhor skinny. I am 5'5 and when I lost all that weight I was down to 110, all skin and bones, and I didn't even recognize myself when I looked in the mirror. It took me about 6 months to gain enough weight to feel somewhat recognizable again, however, I still was not satisfied. I am now up to 135, and my measurements are 36-25-36. I finally feel like a beautiful woman, and an abundance of flesh does not scare me the way it usually does other women in this society.  I have learned that my body does not look good "skinny", and I never want to go back to that skeletal frame I was 2 years ago. I enjoy having noticeable hips, and prominent breasts ( D cups! they are a beast to contain sometimes...I am not going for provocative, especially at work!), and if my thighs touch, I don't give a damn! I apologize for this blog turning into everything Sophia Loren (hopefully you don't mind, I mean, how could you, she is the epitome of "woman"!), I really enjoy finding women who embody...for lack of a better body ideal.

In other news, I am waiting to receive my first order of What Katie Did stockings...I got the polka dot ones, nude with black seams, and nude with coffee colored seams. I think that will be the perfect way to celebrate achieving my body goals...and it was just my birthday, too! I have to get better at taking outfit pictures, I just get so self-conscious sometimes! 

Comrade Von Pussycat


  1. It saddens me to see skinny women. We should all be healthy and have muscles. The cultural norm that pushes women toward skinniness should be resisted; it's just unhealthy. I like your attitude. Women in the past celebrated a more natural form of beauty.

    1. Thank you for commenting Shybiker! I completely agree with you, which is why I am constantly trying to convert women around me to take a shot at dressing in vintage - I honestly couldn't find modern clothing that made me feel comfortable with my body, and when I discovered that I can shop by measurements instead of a generic size, everything changed for me! I wish our society wasn't so obsessed with numbers - unfortunately many trends are driven by $$$. So sad.


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